Always Faithul... Not Always Understanding

Semper Fi.

It is the Latin motto for the United States Marine Corps and it means, always faithful. Before another word is written, let me start by saying how much respect and admiration I had for the United States Marine Corps and all men and women who have made a sacrifice with their time, tears, blood and very lives for the country that I love so much... the United States of America. I take no pleasure and have no agenda to bash the Marine Corps or military service. As with any apology that precedes a point, this may sound a bit critical.

My wife is a Marine. She is proud of this fact and so am I. My wife has dedicated most of her adult life to the Marine Corps and the ideals and values that it espouses. She understands the concept of military service as a sacrifice and a constant struggle for battlefield superiority. The battlefield for her curren fights is her mind.

The Marine Corps, since its inception has been a bit of a boy's club. For a long time it has been a boy's club filled with boys who looked exactly the same. White, young, short hair, disciplined and completely faithful to the idea of being a Marine. As with all institutions in America, the Marine Corps has integrated its faces but the spirit of segregation still permeates its halls. Don't get me wrong, the Marine Corps has torn down strongholds and barriers faster than almost any entity but it is still catching up when it comes to "dealing" with the women within its ranks.

I speak of the Marine Corps as if it is a living breathing "thing" because in many ways that is exactly what it is. The success of Marines has been largely due to the core values that every Marine learns in bootcamp - honor, courage and comittment. These are very simple concepts to the able bodied Marine. They are even simpler concepts when dealing with a Marine who has been wounded in war or preparing for war. But what about the Marine that presents with a condition that has the potential to only affect 6.2% of the entire Corps?

Less than 10 percent of the Marine Corps happens to be female. Ten to twenty percent of women in the United States have Endometriosis. The numbers are not in the favor of the woman in uniform. My wife is struggling fighting a battle that she is not equipped to fight. She is trying to explain to a community of mostly men that at times she requires narcotics just to cope with a condition that many of these same men will never understand. Just the mention of any pain or complaint involving the female anatomy causes hardened Marines to scoff and roll their eyes. The deck is stacked against most women in the military without issues because being a woman in the military is an issue in itself.

I served in the Navy and stood amongst those who saw very little purpose for women in the military. I admit, the sexist nature and tone of military service infects even the most progressive thinking men. There are jobs that women are forbidden to participate in and duty stations that women are not "fit" for. Separate but equal is still very much alive when it comes to the woman serving in today's military. God forbid she complains when she is often the source of so many complaints.

My wife is hard. She is hard-charging, hard-core, and most of all hard-headed. She has a can-do spirit that can easily be nicknamed pride. She refuses to accept defeat with Endometriosis or allow her chain of command to put her in the "woman problem" category. I admire her tenacity but I am angered by the fact that a diagnosis is not enough for the Marine Corps to understand her plight. As with anything in life, we had to be touched by this disease in order to advocate for it. She deserves to be heard and understood when she proclaims that her pain is limiting but her service should not be.

I am so proud of my wife for standing up for herself and all women who suffer from Endometriosis. I have taken up the daunting task of educating myself and others about Endo to better understand it and how it affects the women who are affected by it. This is when she is the strongest and the most endearing, when she demands that her chain of command understand that this will not be fixed with a pill and a few days off. They owe it to her to honor her service as it has been honorable, to have the courage to stand with her as she endures treatment, and to remain committed to her as long as she proudly dons the uniform of a US Marine.